Sunday, November 16, 2008

vegan, it's not meh

Just so there are no mistakes regarding the title of this post. I'm a carnivore. I don't simply like meat - I love it. If there was a cow in here right now I'd bite a hunk out of it's ass and make a sandwich.

Ok, now that we got that straight.

Last week I was invited out to lunch with some coworkers, considering the day I was having some time away from the cubicle walls sounded like a good deal. This changed once I got in the car... turns out we were heading for the only vegan place within 30 miles. Actually, it may be further than 30 miles. I have no idea since I didn't even know this place existed.

Great, so now I'm thinking about all the shapes you can form soy into. I was imagining the menu would be:

  1. Cold Soy topped with spinach and fig leaves
  2. Warm Soy with bean curd dressing
  3. Soy with lawn clippings

I'm all into trying something new, but honestly I was just hoping they had bread and maybe I could stop for a burger on the way back.

I have no idea where this preconception came from. I still don't even know what the word means and I have a feeling if I googled it I still wouldn't.

But you know what? It was actually pretty good. Turns out they had a great grilled tortilla wrap. They even had a barbecue sandwich (this one was a little confusing for me).

To my local steakhouse - don't worry, I'll be back to eat my weight in beef soon enough.

Maybe next time I'll try the soy. Ha, just kidding.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

and the 7th edition winner is.....

Congratulations DMLD! Your cool award is below, feel free to add it to your mantle.

Man, I had to move the sign away from the haunted house and found a great little park near my house to place it. I swear I found ghost crap all over the sign from last week, I didn't even know there was such a thing.

Ya'll crack me up, I found myself laughing like an idiot reading those. Coming in second and third were Dad to Two & Diesel.

DMLD, sorry... I couldn't find you on Entrecard so I can't award you with the credits. If you do have one at some point let me know and I'd love to start you off with 500 credits.

DMLD's Caption:

"Hey honey, your girlfriend called . . . and by the way, I parked your car in the pool."

Your Award:

The ultra cool and Greenlands #1 most coveted award!

I realize this size might be a bit much, so I've included a couple of smaller versions:

150x178 version

108x121 version


Thursday, November 13, 2008

dude, caption this - 7th edition

Alright, time to rock with another caption contest. Leave your caption in the comments, judging to occur Friday night - winners get all kinds of cool stuff including 500 Entrecard credits, your name in lights and bragging rights!

~ your caption here ~

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

more stupid crap... dude

The other day I was tagged and revealed 7 things people might not know about me. I admit however that I only scraped the surface of my neurosis.

At the risk of uncomfortable silence and the "dude, your freaking nuts" look... by special request here is another glimpse.

1. I can't use the restroom until I lift the lid and check for spiders. When I was maybe 10 I overheard one of my mom's friends talk about getting bitten by a black widow spider while sitting on the john. That simple comment has tormented me for at least 30 years.

2. I can't drink a beer or drink without raising my glass to cheers someone first. If I'm alone I still have to raise my glass before I can take so much as a sip.

3. Since I was a kid I didn't think I would live to 40, so everyday now is a gimme. That feeling was so strong that for 2 years before I turned 40 I wondered everyday if it was that day.

4. For some reason, money in my pocket is easier to spend than money in my wallet. Speaking of money in my pocket... bills go in my left pocket, coins in the right. Never mixed. Ever. I also have to make sure the bills are facing the same way and from highest to lowest.

5. When I pass a cop, even if I'm not doing anything wrong, I pretend to yawn, scratch my head or mess with the radio so I look like their presence doesn't concern me. I have no idea why I do that.

6. If I'm eating alone in a restaurant I look around and check my watch like I'm waiting on someone, sometimes I even mutter to myself when I'm doing that. No clue why.

7. When my credit card is being authorized I curl my toes up and my teeth clinch thinking it might be denied.

8. I never use my real name if I have to give it when ordering food.

Monday, November 10, 2008

happy birthday devil dogs

The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!
Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945

Today I take a break from my normal posts to honor the few, the proud. To my brothers and sisters, past and present. Happy Birthday Marines!

233 years ago today on November 10, 1775, the Continental Congress passed a resolution stating that "two Battalions of Marines be raised". Since then Marines have participated in every major battle, in every clime and place with honor, courage and commitment.

To me this day, this birthday, holds more importance to me than my own. I don't say that with bravado or ego, I say it because I could never pay back what the Corps provided to me.

Each year I recall a day in mid July 1984. I had been in bootcamp for about a month by that point and still had 2 more to go before earning the Eagle, Globe and Anchor. I was standing alone outside the chow hall waiting for the rest of my platoon. I was nothing more than a sorry ass, beaten down lump of shit. It was by far my lowest point ever. I didn't trust that I knew my name, I didn't trust that I knew where I came from. I felt as though I had been ripped down to my core, I literally had nothing left.

Except for one thing. I wanted to be a Marine more than ever.

On that day, literally at that moment, I knew I had been broken. I realized from that point forward I would never be the same.

I know the Corps isn't for everyone and I know some fellow Marines may not have hit the depths I discovered that day, but for me it's what has helped define me as a person ever since. For that I will be forever in debt to my beloved Corps and fellow Marines.

Tonight I will find a bar, toast a few to my leatherneck brothers and sisters, think about that day and the sacrifices of the hero's who paid the highest price so we could live free.
I haven't missed a birthday toast in the past 24 years and I know I will continue till the day I wear my dress blues for the last time.... even if they do have to split it up the back to make it fit.

Semper Fi Marines, carry on!
Good night Chesty, wherever you are.