ass logo placement

There are some things I never thought I'd do. Never thought I would SCUBA dive. Check, did that. Never thought I would allow someone within 2 feet of the jewels with a scalpel. Check, did that. Never thought I would start a blog. Check, did that. Never thought I would stop drinking beer... ha, yea right.

I now add to that list - I never thought I would try to find a picture of a football players ass and put words on it. Today is indeed a red letter day.

Saw this story today:

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Team dumps logo near buttocks after 70-0 loss

BOISE, Idaho - The Idaho Vandals football team is dumping the letter "I" from the buttocks region of players' new pants following a season-opening 70-0 loss to the Arizona Wildcats.

Rob Spears, the school's athletic director, says nobody realized just how the logo placed in the center of the players' behinds would look before they tried their pants on.
Spears told the Idaho Statesman the sewn-in University of Idaho logo has since been hastily removed by equipment managers after complaints

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I've posted before that I don't know much about football. This is painfully apparent now. Since when did football players start putting logo's on their ass? It's not even the logo of the other team (which I could understand), it's their OWN logo - on their ASS.

Seriously? Can you buy ass logo placement for the Super Bowl? If so, I'd love to see Hertz pitch for that deal.

Sunday 9/07/08:

By request I found an image of the actual ass logo. I submit it here and swear this is the last time I go on a hunt for images of football ass logos.

tuesday rant - 1st edition

Maybe it's age. Maybe it's genetics. Maybe it's like the pressure cooker my mom used when I was a kid, I used to love pulling the little top off and watch the steam shoot outta that thing.

Starting this week I'm bringing it to the blog in a weekly rant. It's either this or I have to start knitting and I can't be trusted with those big needles.

Ok, deep breath, let's rock.

1) Put me in coach:
A Connecticut youth baseball team with a phenomenal 9-year-old pitcher has been disqualified because its team is too good. Story here.

One word. Bullshit.

This is wrapped in the feel-good, everyone wins, we won't keep score crap I see happening way too damn often. Guess what, life is hard. Life is unfair. Life can be a bitch. You have to lose a hundred times before you win and still there will be people better at it than you. In my opinion the best thing you can do is teach your kids to survive and to survive they have to learn from falling the hell down. Hug 'em, support 'em, wipe off the blood and put 'em back in the game. This action hurt the kids remaining in the league as much as it hurt the team disqualified.

We had a team in my son's league a couple of seasons ago, the Yankees, these kids were GOOD! They decimated the league and I couldn't wait till we got a chance to play them. For the kids playing and all of us watching it was the highlight of the season, we got smashed but what a game that was!

I feel better now.

Did I mention our dogs are certified potty training instructors? Yep, true story with the exception of the certification part...

Shoelessboy kept coming into the house wearing nothing but a shirt. Usually this is no cause for alarm but it was accompanied by that funny "I got something on my butt" walk. Turns out he was pooping in the backyard cause he had seen the dogs do it. If he starts dragging his ass on the floor he and I are going to have a talk.

everyone knows that

I love me some Olympics. I don't really care what the event is; swimming, pole vault, badminton, trampoline, squirrel chase. Whatever, let’s roll with it. By the way, why did they take out the tug-of-war?

You see, I’m an expert in each event.

An expert you ask? Yes, it’s true. I’m an expert; they should have me on a con call at each event to obtain my opinion. I should be there in person but the Olympic Committee won’t allow it after the 1984 fiasco where my presence was seen as an unfair advantage in the eyes of the Russian judges (they made sure I was in boot camp when those were going on).

If you really knew me this is the part where the word “…bullshit” would start to enter your mind. You see, I don’t watch sports. I don’t keep up with sports. I don’t know the ESPN channel number by heart. I’m usually clueless as to what season it actually is. I’ve never actually seen a basketball game in person and never on TV unless I can’t avoid it and that goes for most other professional sports.

Odd you say?

I guess so. It’s not that I don’t try, I do. I’m a guy living in America after all; to not know ~anything~ about sports is to suggest I might play for the other team. Don’t make that mistake. I’m quite secure in my manhood thank you very much. It’s just that I have no real interest in most of what sports have to offer.

I do have respect for anyone who puts their heart into anything and plays at 110% regardless of the situation. To me these are the true athletes. They don’t get $40 million a year and then act like jackass rock stars; they don’t even have to be good. Put your heart into it each and every time and I’ll be on the sidelines rooting my ass off for you.

I think this is why the Olympics capture my attention and make me into a blithering idiot.

Here I am yelling at the TV, “come on… stick the landing... ah, he took a step, his weight was too far forward. It looked to me like he rotated just a bit too much on the dismount. Everyone knows the setup for the dismount is the most critical portion of the exercise”.

Yea, everyone knows that. Get me a drink while you’re up.

By the way, am I the only one judging all the other countries by whether they had hot girls on their team and if their uniforms didn’t look totally jacked up?

GO USA!