Wednesday, November 12, 2008

more stupid crap... dude

The other day I was tagged and revealed 7 things people might not know about me. I admit however that I only scraped the surface of my neurosis.

At the risk of uncomfortable silence and the "dude, your freaking nuts" look... by special request here is another glimpse.

1. I can't use the restroom until I lift the lid and check for spiders. When I was maybe 10 I overheard one of my mom's friends talk about getting bitten by a black widow spider while sitting on the john. That simple comment has tormented me for at least 30 years.

2. I can't drink a beer or drink without raising my glass to cheers someone first. If I'm alone I still have to raise my glass before I can take so much as a sip.

3. Since I was a kid I didn't think I would live to 40, so everyday now is a gimme. That feeling was so strong that for 2 years before I turned 40 I wondered everyday if it was that day.

4. For some reason, money in my pocket is easier to spend than money in my wallet. Speaking of money in my pocket... bills go in my left pocket, coins in the right. Never mixed. Ever. I also have to make sure the bills are facing the same way and from highest to lowest.

5. When I pass a cop, even if I'm not doing anything wrong, I pretend to yawn, scratch my head or mess with the radio so I look like their presence doesn't concern me. I have no idea why I do that.

6. If I'm eating alone in a restaurant I look around and check my watch like I'm waiting on someone, sometimes I even mutter to myself when I'm doing that. No clue why.

7. When my credit card is being authorized I curl my toes up and my teeth clinch thinking it might be denied.

8. I never use my real name if I have to give it when ordering food.


Colleen said...

Um, does the name Melvin Udall mean anything to you?
If not, watch As Good As It Gets with Jack Nicholson.
"How can you diagnose someone with an obsessive compulsive disorder, then act like I have some choice about barging in here?" :)

Dad to Two said...

I had the same issue with 30. I had it in y head and I even told people I wouldn't live past 30. I am so glad I did. That is when living really started.


PlancksPost said... I'm going to be lifting the lid every time I go to the bathroom.
Be sure and check your towel before you dry off after getting out of the shower...the Brown Recluse can be hiding there!

Heinous said...

Those cops all think you're up to something when you do that....

AngieSS said...

LOL Another great list Dude! The results are in -- you are definitely OCD. hehehe

And #5 I laughed so hard at that one because I do that too and have no idea why I feel the need to do it!

Thanks for letting us get to know you a little better. :)

richard said...

I am seeing a slight tendancy towards OCD. Don't worry black kettle, we can spot each other easily!

Deb said...

You are incredibly brave (or stupid) to post yet MORE things for us to add to the Dude, You're Freakin' Nuts File.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on number 5 ..:))))

Sue said...

I have to eat my M&M's in order of color, brown, yellow, orange, green, blue and then red. We all have little kookamonga tendencies. Some more pronounced than others. Thanks for the heads up on the spiders! I'm sure I'll sleep like a baby tonight. LOL!

Thess said...

i can't go to the restroom when there's a "WORM" there, I'd rather it's a python.

The only way I'm entering it is if there's a bleaching agent on hand, yes...I bleach the worm.

dadthedude said...

@ colleen - i saw that movie some time back. I recall now watching the movie a little low in my seat cause it hit a little close to home.

@ dadtotwo - strange feeling to reach that day and think you might need to stay in bed. I even organized my clothes before that date so it would be easier to gather them. Glad you made it.

@ planckspost - damn you.

@ heinous - I'm with ya bro. I just can't stop doing it. It's uncontrollable.

@ angiess - like heinous said... it has the opposite effect so we are screwed. I really hate when they are behind you at a red light. I proceed to go through everything in the truck like I've lost something. Can't help it...

Thanks for stopping by again!

@ richard - thanks black pot, I knew you would understand.

@ deb - still just scratching the surface... there are some that I'll never tell... maybe.

@ confused - thanks. Apparently I'm not alone in that so I feel a little better about it now.

@ sue - damn M&M's and apple jacks. Sends me into convulsions. How about trail mix.... auuuughhh. A jar of trail mix is a gauranteed 2 hours of OCD.

Good luck and thanks for putting the word kookamonga in my head.

@ thess - you crack me up. You have "worms" in your toilet? Thanks for putting the thought if snakes being in there into my head...

dadthedude said...

I'll add one as a bonus comment - I put all my spare change into specific jars. I know everyone might do that but every week I empty the jars to make sure a dime didn't slid into the quarter jar or a penny in with the nickels. Drives me nuts!

I think I might need help.

MA Fat Woman said...

I use a different name as well; nobody can pronounce mine anyway. I'm amazed that I made it to 40 too!

Grandy said...

Dude, I love learning about people through memes. This one is great...and thanks for the spider thing. I'm afraid I would violate a couple of yours here and annoy the piss out of you.

Sorry ahead of time for that.

dadthedude said...

@ ma fat women - exactly! They always screw mine up plus when they call out a random name and I get up it freaks the people I'm out with which is a bonus.
(that was hard to put that name down...)

@ grandy - thanks! never knew this was a meme. Oddly enough other people doing anything different doesnt bother me. I'm in awe of people who don't cause ya'll are actually the freaks.

Michael said...

Well i didnt think about the spiders till now.thanks man.
credit/debit card gets me too. i know i have the funds. but its always in the back of the mind "come on come on" YES.
i have an issue with leaving cabinet doors open in the kitchen.. i usually close them by smacking my head against one that i didnt see. seems like i would learn, but i dont.
dude.. you have an issue with the jars of money.. thats just Nuts!

Thess said...

i read novels backward. If I start from the first page, I get bored after the next five but when I read from the ending, it keeps me intrigues on how it came to that conclusion...AND I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP!

Thess said...

*intrigued* too :)

Anonymous said...

You poor thing. You're wrapped tighter than a two inch rubber band around a five inch box. Much to my dismay, you sound too much like me to be comfortable.

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

I saw an email going around about your black spider biting a butt. Keeping your change separate from your bills in your pocket makes perfect sense. If you go for change mixed in with bills, you have to take them all out to get to the change.