seriously, a joke virus?

Just yesterday I'm minding my own business, sitting inside to avoid the heat and with the Olympics being over watching some mindless TV show on the tube. Question; can you still say "tube" considering tubes went out of TVs like 300 years ago?

Ok, I'll come clean. I was actually just inside avoiding yard work which on a day like yesterday is best left to the neighbors. I find it very relaxing to hear the din of 20 lawnmowers, leaf blowers and weed eaters working away outside while I sit inside and drink ice tea. Granted, I know I'll soon join them but it's my own little act of rebellion.

Anyway, I'm sipping ice tea and browsing the net looking for the first episode of "Generation Kill". Being a former grunt in the Marines I've had like a dozen people tell me I need to see it. I get a little uneasy when people say this because at times shows depicting Marines aren’t always what I’d call Marine friendly and I have a special place for those who make these shows.

I'm clicking, watching TV, click, click, click; when all of a sudden...

WHAT THE HELL?

My laptop had been taken over by a very annoying little screen that would NOT go away. I finally clear it only to find that my windows background had been replaced and the ability to manage anything on the desktop had been removed.

Turns out, I had been infected by the Joke-bluescreen virus.

Joke virus?

How it made it past the multiple lines of defense in my laptop I don't have a clue. It must have known someone at the door or used a date-rape drug on my firewall because it just walked right in and set itself up like it owned the place (which at that moment... it did). Several hours and about 6 chorus's of "damnit to hell" and "What the... shit!" later I finally cleared it and am back to normal again with the exception of the odd feeling that I've been sodomized.

To anyone who programs for a living - you must use your powers for good, not evil. I don't care how talented you are or how funny you may think it is, if you invest your time and effort in a virus and call it a "Joke", you sir may feel free to back up and kiss my now virus-free ass.

is it really better?

This article caught my eye today "10 things you should know about the internet". I enjoy learning about the origin of things; I tend to think it helps me understand the subject better. If it wasn't for the History channel, Discovery channel, Science channel and Military channel I wouldn't know crap.

This caused me reflect back on my first interaction with the internet. Remember pre-internet? Back then if you said "I'll google it" someone would have thought you were going to prepare a dish containing eggs. Or, more likely, they would have thought you were just an idiot.

I lost my internet cherry sometime in August 1991. I recall that date simply because at the time I was living in Okinawa, Japan and needed to look up some information on vehicles before moving back to the states. I can't recall how I got the subscription, but I used CompuServe to try and locate the information I needed. Good thing I was trying it a few months in advance, because it took FOREVER to download simple text and a couple of very tiny images.

I don't think I ever found what I was looking for. But man, I thought that was so cool! It was like tapping into this other world where I was the driver. If I had enough time (again... it was freaking slow!) I could go basically anywhere. I think at the time it would have taken about 3 days to reach the end of the internet with an average of 1 page per hour.

Fast forward 17 years (damn, it’s been that long...) and the internet has been my career for 13 of those years. So much of my life has been shaped by this thing you can't touch or smell that it's impossible to imagine myself without it.

I say this with a little trepidation. As amazing as it is, as much as I believe it has made the world smaller. It’s opened so many windows for me where before only existed walls. But, I wonder if it's actually made us better.

Case in point. I am writing this 10 feet from my wife, whose career is also intertwined with the net. Like most nights after the kids are in bed we sit here working on our respective laptops, clicking away on the keyboard and occasionally saying something to ourselves while some show is on TV in the background. When it gets really pathetic I'll IM her to see if she wants a drink (but only when I want to be a smartass...). I can say I only know 2 out of our 5 nearest neighbors well enough to call them by name.

I wonder what my granddad would say if he was here. My grandfather worked at the stockyards in Oklahoma City for his entire life. He could literally touch and smell his work. I once tried to explain to him what I did. Here is how he wrapped it up:

Him - what do you do if the electricity goes off?
Me - hmmm. I guess I can't work.
Him - then you don't really have a job.

I wonder if the same thing applies to life in the internet age.