Wednesday, July 23, 2008

and they call it butt paste

For those of us familiar with the medical miracles related to the prevention and treatment of diaper rash – you will recognize the name “Boudreaux's Butt Paste”. According to Wikipedia this treatment for irritated hind-ends was developed in the 1970’s by “Pappy” Talbot (yes, I actually researched this….). As a side note, “Pappy” sold his pharmacy and traveled to trade shows in an RV he dubbed the “Butt Mobile”. I have a friend who had a van he dubbed the butt mobile – but that’s another story.

I can’t make this crap up. Ok, I made up the friend part… It was actually a green 1978 Thunderbird that smelled like Polo. He thought the chicks dug it when he pulled up next to them with that 8ft long hood with plush velvety seats and those little rear windows. If it was his desire to embarrass the shit out of me... it worked.

Ok, back to the subject at hand. I provide this historical reference to say this – I’m sure at no time in its development did “Pappy” Talbot consider the application of the product in other areas… let’s say… oh, I don’t know… the head.

This was until shoelessboy discovered that in the early morning hours a tub of butt paste can be liberally applied to the head until the ENTIRE tub has been emptied. This can be hours of fun and if you happen to have diaper rash on your head…

Yep. 7am on a Saturday morning all we see over the foot of our bed is a glowing white head walking through the door towards us and the overwhelming smell of butt paste.

Turns out, one of the great benefits of butt paste is it’s ability to shed water – wonderful water-proofing capabilities. Stick him in the shower… nada. Pour dish soap on this head… nada.

Apparently, the only way to remove it is to put the poor kid in a headlock and rub his head raw with a towel. I’m sure he will be discussing this in therapy at some point.


richard said...

"Dude" now that's funny. Me and the guys on watch over here in Kuwait are laughing very hard now because we all have kids and can relate.

dadthedude said...

Thanks Richard, as a Former Marine I thank you for your service and helping to keep our country free.

If that helps I'll have to tell you about the time he walked out of the bathroom at a restaurant... naked.

Thanks again. Stay chilly.
Semper Fi.

Susan said...

Man that's a cute kid. I still laugh every time I see that photo. You should show that to every date he brings home!!! Keep writing, You're highly entertaining.

Dana said...

Yep - been there. And Butt Paste is still a permanent fixture on my daughter's rug. If someone can tell how to get that out...I swear kids have a sense of knowing *where* we hide things they shouldn't have (like butt paste in the medicine cabinet) and then they lay in bed, plotting how to get it. In the end they seem to always succeed.

Anonymous said...

and he looks so happy! HAHA. good post!!

Dan Brantley said...

"...glowing white head..." got me. I Stumbled this for ya.

World Domination is only a laugh away!

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