Saturday, October 25, 2008

can we just punt?

I've never posted specifically about politics. Just not me, I don't ~really~ hang my hat on a particular party or someone nuts enough to run for commander-in-chief. I just try and pick the one that isn't as jacked up as the other.

I take that back. Back in the '92 race I had to vote really early since I was overseas and Perot hadn't started speaking in tongues yet... within a week after voting he imploded and his head started spinning around 360 degrees. Lessons are learned through mistakes. Right?

I've had it up to here with this election
(place your hand under your chin for the full effect - it's an interactive post).

It's not that I don't take voting seriously, I do. I won't even vote early now since I want the full experience of standing in line at the elementary school and playing the 'I wonder who that dude will vote for' game. For me, placing a vote is like horse racing - I'd rather be at the track with the smell of the horses in the air instead of some room in Vegas watching it on TV. Either way, I'm still placing my money on a horse's ass.

Seriously, if I see one more blog or "news" segment about the election (after this post), I'll puke on the screen. Let's just get this over with now. I propose we all meet at a bar and the candidate who can do the most shots in 30 minutes while still talking out of the side of their mouth wins. Hell, I'll buy.

I for one hope Joe "the jackass" Biden has something else to do that day 'cause I'll be forced to kick his ass after I get a few beers in me (hell, I'll do it sober). But as I think about it, Palin doing shots would be kinda cool. I got a side bet that says 5 shots in she dances topless on the table and gives Joe the plumber a lap dance - any takers?

If you are interested in playing the 'I wonder who that dude will vote for game' while standing in line to vote this year, you should know it's based on 3 things:

  • Haircut - 60% of the weight
  • Shoes - 25% of the weight
  • Visible tattoos - 15% of the weight

I'll leave it up to you to determine which is which.


17 comments:

Just me said...

i'll never bet on a horse's ass..noooooo...not on that part...nooooooo

Lidian said...

This is why I prefer Canadian elections - announce it, have some low-level press coverage for a couple of weeks, and we vote. The end!

PlancksPost said...

I voted early and it really cracked me up all the signs out in front of the place...if you're going to be swayed by a last minute glance at a sign then do us all a favor and move to Canada! If you're one of the people that put the sign there then you need to move to Mexico, we don't want you here!

...There's my rant for the week!

Kirsten said...

It seems like this election process has just flown by!!! :)

Kristie said...

I think Palin would win your drinking election. I bet she could drink those "boys" under the table.

Sherry Martschink said...

Really funny post. You've summed up what most Americans are feeling. Can you imagine what TV is going to be like after Nov. 4th, assuming there are no "hanging chads" or other on-going problems?

dadthedude said...

@ just me said - if you didn't bet on the horse's ass.... what part did you bet on?

@ lidian - Canada has elections? Get out. When did they start doing that?

@ planckspost - I think the same thing about the signs in everyone's yard. As a government class project in HS we had to volunteer and put those signs up. Most ended up behind the Tom Thumb.

@ kirsten - it's too early to be drinking.

@ kristie - hmmm, didn't think about that. Maybe that was a just a wish.

@ sherry - thanks. oh hell, can you imagine what that would be like. Then I would really have to kick Biden's ass just because.

PlancksPost said...

One more thing then I'll get off my soap box...WTF is with the option for Spanish or English when you vote...if you can't understand English you shouldn't be allowed to vote for anything more than Chimichanga of the year!

The Hawg! said...

Man, you're not alone. This election sucks. Now that I think of it, I've held my nose and voted for the candidate I hate the least since my first presidential election back in 1988.

That's just sad!

RRsis said...

wow is this the Tuesday rant early hahaha..but seriously couldn't agree more...

Chat Blanc said...

I am sooooo playing the "I wonder who that dude will vote for game"!

Heinous said...

Can I take my hand away from under my chin now?

Karina Harris said...

LOVE the shot glasses and the way the candidates have been repeating the same buzzwords and tag lines for over a year, we could just re-watch the presidential and vice presidential debates for a great drinking game!

AngieSS said...

I think I'd love to go to the bar and drink with all of them. Can you imagine how funny McCain would be when drunk -- he can hardly keep his words straight sober. :)

Grandy said...

::slamming another shot at the bar::

**Hiccup**

Here Here DUDE!!

I'm with you!!

Traci Skene said...

There's a great video on You Tube of a drunk Joe Bidumb singing the commercial jingle from "The Villages." It's the only time I've ever liked the man.

Just me said...

not telling...