tuesday rant - 6th edition

... you’re reducing your Carbon Footprint. And that means you’re helping the environment so you can feel a nice warm glow....


That's an actual quote I found related to this whole "Go Green" movement we've found ourselves in for the past few years.

A movement I might add that coincided with the explosion of plastic bottled water... anyone remember water in plastic bottles you could buy in a store in say the 80's? No, how about the 90's? The only one I could think of was Evian but only guys named Antwon who wore their sweaters tied around their necks and wore shoes with no socks drank that crap.

Ok, I digressed with the bottled water deal. Here's the point, I'm not doing so well offsetting my carbon footprint basically because... well, I don't have a damn clue what the hell a carbon footprint is and I don't really care to find out.

What I do know is I toggle between the "Go Green" movement pissing me off and not being much more than background noise. It pisses me off when people or companies use it (or the term) for their own purposes. It's almost become an all purpose term meaning to do good.

For example, the trash truck that rattles through my neighborhood once a week to pickup all the half empty paint cans, used oil and old batteries everyone tosses in the trash can when they can't make it down to the storm drain is painted green and has several leaves painted on it along with the "Green" slogan of the day. I feel better about that now, thanks.

The company I work for has a green corporate building. I'm not sure what that means exactly but I know they have urinals that don't flush.

Thanks, but I'd rather go outside to piss in the smoking area than use these. I have no idea where it goes but I've spent many hours wondering that and if the cost savings justifies the means.

That's right - I said cost savings, not water savings.

I had a conversation with someone once who did organic gardening. When I mentioned that if they sold something powerful enough that it made my yard glow at night so bright the FAA could use it to guide planes but actually killed weeds - I'd use it, she gave me a look like I just whacked a bunny over the head with a lead pipe.

Does this mean I'm an earth hater? No, actually the opposite.

I actually do a lot of things people would call "Green", but I'm not going over the damn environmental cliff or bragging about it to make myself feel that nice warm glow.

I'm going outside now to put a "Green" sticker on my hummer. Damnit, first I gotta buy a Hummer...