Wednesday, October 8, 2008

my tv education

I can’t decide if I grew up in the 70’s or the 80’s. Hell, I don’t think I’ve actually “grown up” even today since I still can’t tell you what I want to be when I grow up. I keep putting it off thinking someday I’ll figure it out.

I guess if I was forced, I would say I was a child of the 70’s, or rather a child of 70’s TV shows.

I recall in the 8th grade watching one of my favorite shows, Welcome Back Kotter. Since I was just a year away from high school I thought it would be just like that. I thought you would be in a class where everyone was your friend, even that snotty little bitch Judy. Your teacher would be cool and have a big afro and I could wear a denim jacket and my buddy Epstein would teach me how to write a note from my mom to get me out of anything.

That proved to be incorrect. But to the frustration of many of my teachers I tried like hell. Up your nose with a rubber hose.

The Love Boat also proved to be my undoing, but it took almost 25 years for it to hit. It wasn’t until I went on a cruise with my wife and a few of our friends several years ago. Apparently my wife didn’t watch as much of it as I did cause my 14 year old mind thought a cruise literally meant… the Love Boat. I admit I also thought we would get all dressed up and attend a dinner were we would sit with the captain and his daughter and when we watched the sunset from the side of ship the breeze would slightly blow our hair.

Damn you Captain Stubing. Damn you to hell.

Everything I know about police I learned from Barney Miller and Starsky and Hutch. But the ultimate police show was Adam-12. To this day when I see an LAPD cop on some car chase or a video beating someone I think they are either Pete or Jim out on patrol. Only they would have the case wrapped up in 30 minutes and the guilty would go down and justice would reign.

I thought I would grow up and live in an apartment building like Three’s Company. I didn’t see myself lucking out and actually living with 2 foxy chicks (I still love saying “foxy”), but I would live near them and we would hang out at the Regal Beagle with our bell bottoms, feathered hair and shirts with huge collars. I would be Jack's wingman.

The Brady Bunch taught me that the cute girl with the long golden hair will break your heart in the end and her sisters would just laugh at you if you showed up at the door on your Evil Knievel bike with the fake gas tank. Damn you Marsha, I really thought we had something.

WKRP in Cincinnati tought me that the boss is usually clueless and thats ok. I also learned that even though the really hot (sorry... foxy) chick named Jennifer sitting at the front desk is the one everyone checks out walking down the hall, the one true fox is actually Bailey and will always be.

The Dukes of Hazzard taught me that it's possible to jump a car across a 30 foot cavern from a construction site on one end and yell "yeeee haaawwww" while in midair. I never questioned if this was real. I figured if they could shoot a bow and arrow with TNT attached to it and blow crap up they could do anything. Damn you Bo Duke for making me wear my hair like that and thinking I could pull off the blue shirt unbuttoned down to there look. Good thing I never learned how to weld or my parents would have had a new door feature on the family car to go along with the scratches on the hood from me sliding across it.

There are so many other shows that shaped my view of the world in the late 70’s, but the final summary is this; the world wasn’t always clean, the people in general were cool or they could be written off, everyone would get a chance at a punch line and everything would work out in the end before the credits started rolling.

Now you can’t tell me that’s not a good education.


PlancksPost said...

Imagine the education shirtless boy and shoeless boy will have with the influx of reality TV...god help us!

Heinous said...

Hell, you could run for president. That's better than those C's Bush pulled all through college.

Da Old Man said...

Bailey was so much hotter. I mean foxier.

Always Home and Uncool said...

Bailey, sweet Bailey. Where you been girl?

dadthedude said...

planckspot - you scare the shit outta me you know that.

heinous - no way I'm running for anything, maybe dog catcher.

da old man & always home - man, you guys are so right on. Bailey was hot. I caught an episode the other night and she is still foxy by todays standards.

ReformingGeek said...

I think you must have watched more TV than my brother who could probably recall every episode of The Dukes of Hazzard.

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia and now I have the Three's Company theme in my head. Damn! You do know that Peter was in love with Marcia so maybe that's why it didn't work out with you and her and it's probably why Peter and I never got together! ;-)

Bill said...

This is for the Carnival I assume? Hilarious post - 'everything I know today I learned from watching Television' sort of a twist on 'All I Really Need to Know I learned in indergarten' by Robert Fulghum. Only a lot funnier.

Deb said...

Yup. Growing up with TV was certainly influential. Pull the plug on the TV, pack up the house, the kids, and the wife and go live in a yurt on a mountain in Nepal far, far away from the the TV news, reality shows and Bert and Ernie.

Dan Brantley said...

Our youth group at church sings Amazing Grace to the tune of The Flintstones, and Gilligan's Island theme songs.
Now that's edumacation baby.

And I'll put another vote in for Bailey.
According to IMDB, she was living in Ojai, CA in 2005 and thinking of acting again.

HumorSmith said...

Yup, another vote for Bailey. Although Jennifer has great t***.

VE said...

What is it about Welcome Back Kotter that people that didn't even grow up then know about it? It wasn't really on that long. Yeah, I guess part of it has to do with it being Travolta's start. I still remember it vividly and that was many years and sitcoms ago!

AngieSS said...

Awww I feel nostalgia setting in. I too have such fond memories of each of these shows -- thanks for the trip down memory lane.

Merrill Guice said...

While my love of Jennifer has sagged along with Jennifer's, ah, twins I could still get perky for Bailey.

What was really cool about WKRP was that they picked their songs from the "Friday Morning Quarterback" an industry tip sheet by a guy with "golden ears". By the time the episode hit, the song was most likely a hit. Just a geek thing we DJ's appreciated back then.

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